Does This Post Make Me Look Fat?

So remember that time I said I would be better about posting?  Yeah, me too.  But you will be happy to know that I am alive and well.  Been keeping myself busy reading and sewing and eating.  And lately I've mostly been eating Creme de Methe Chocolate Cake!

You see we had a really fun Relief Society activity a few weeks ago that was a service auction.  What is a service auction you ask?  Well I will tell you.  Everyone who comes writes down a service/talent they have that they can share - like taking photos, sewing a bag, making a cake, etc...  And then they all answer questions about themselves and each question is worth points and points equals money to bid on services.  Got it?  I was lucky enough to be the auctioneer at this service auction, which gave me the ability to close any auction on something I really wanted and sell it to myself. (Bwahahahaha - I am drunk with power!)  Which is how I won Erika Smith's oh-so-delicious 3 layer Creme de Methe Chocolate Cake.  She brought it to us on Sunday evening and since then I have been eating it everyday for breakfast dessert.

It is amazing.  And it worked out well because I auctioned off my babysitting talents - which she won, so it's a nice little trade we got going.

Junk Food Junkies

Oh Krispy Kreme doughnuts, why are you so delicious?  You see they recently built a Krispy Kreme store in good old Fuquay Varina - which is forty minutes from my house (thankfully), but only about two minutes from my sister Susy's house (less thankfully).  And you see because it's a new store, to promote business (and because they have a pact with the Devil) they keep the HOT NOW sign on all the time!  Which is delicious.  If not slightly dangerous.  So naturally tonight as I drove by on my way home I was taken over (refer to pact above) and was forced to go through the drive-thru and get myself two piping hot, glaze-melting doughnuts.  Which I promptly (if not savoringly) ate in the car on the way home.  Licking sugar off my fingers at every red light.  It was wonderful.  But you see it is too easy to fall victim to this (Devil pact), most likely because I do not drive past it every day and have not therefore built up the proper immunity to the ever present HOT NOW sign.  You see the dilemma I'm in?  It's bad.

So let me back track a little, just in case you happen to live in some sad existence in which you have never had a HOT NOW Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut, allow me to explain the utter perfection:  1st I must say that I don't like glazed doughnuts, 2nd I must say the Krispy Kreme hot glazed doughnuts are my favorite doughnut of all time, and 3rd I must say that you must now imagine the most perfect glazed doughnut you can think of, then imagine it about 2 times better than that, than imagine it hot, and finally imagine that as you eat it, each bite melts in your mouth like unto cotton candy.  Do I need to go on?  I just ate two and I am drooling typing this.  Now I will tell you the three things that I think of every time I eat a HOT NOW glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut.  They are two movie quotes and one childhood memory.

Number 1 - So I Married an Axe Murderer - the Dad: "They put an addictive chemical in it that makes you crave for it nightly." (Now I must explain the this quote is in fact referring to KFC, but we can presume this is only because Mike Myers is from Canada and has sadly never eaten a Krispy Kreme doughnut.  Had he had the opportunity, he would have changed the script.)

Number 2 - Mannequin - Hollywood: "They call to me in the night.  Hollywood, come and eat me Hollywood."  (In this quote he is actually referring to doughnuts.  Do not question my knowledge of the film Mannequin.)

Number 3 - When I was young there were a few years where our church would spend a Saturday selling Krispy Kreme doughnuts door-to-door to raise money for Girl's Camp and Youth Conference.  I am not completely sure about the exact age I was when the incident occurred, but I was somewhere around 12 to 14 years old.  So the way it worked was really early on a Saturday morning we would go to a Krispy Kreme warehouse type location (now it might have just been the store in down town Raleigh, but I was young and so it seemed like a big warehouse type place) and picked up lots of boxes of a dozen glazed doughnuts to sell.  My mom would load them up in the back seat and then we would drive around our neighborhood where my mom would park and I'd take a stack of boxes and go from door-to-door selling them to anyone who wanted them only returning to the car to get more boxes until we had sold them all.  Basically just like Girl Scout cookies, only with instant gratification.  At one particular house when I rang the bell I heard someone yell, "Come in."  Not knowing them I naturally did not come in.  I knew that they must think I'm someone else and so therefore I should ring the bell again to let them know that they do not know me.  (Wasn't I so sensible?) So I rang again and of course they said, "Come in" again.  So I did.  When I walked in there was a group of very cool older high school kids - there were 3 girls and 6 guys - hanging out in the living room playing video games.  Around them there were lots of pizza boxes, chip bags, empty 'soda' cans, etc.  When I explained that I was selling doughnuts they said, "No way.  So you like just came to our house on Saturday morning with doughnuts for us."  I said "Yes."  They said, "This is like the best thing that has ever happened to us. Do you do this every week?"  I said "No."  They asked, "Is that one box all you have left?"  I explained to them that I had a lot more in the car and could get them as many boxes as they wanted.  They pooled their cash and told me they had enough for six boxes.  I was elated!  That was more than half of the boxes I had left to sell.  I was a master salesman.  I ran to the car and excitedly told my mom that this house was having a slumber party (wasn't I so cute and naive) and so they wanted six boxes!  She thought this was great and handed them out to me.  So I proudly walked back up to the house and sold them the six boxes of doughnuts.  Honestly I think my favorite part about this sweet story of selling prowess and childhood innocence, is that it was several years later before I thought back on my proud moment and realized that I had knocked on the door of a bunch of potheads with a major case of the munchies!  So the moral of the story is - if you have to sell doughnuts (or really any food for that matter) door-to-door on a Saturday morning be sure to know where the junkies live.

(By the way I was not paid in any way by Krispy Kreme for this post, but will happily accept cash and/or HOT NOW glazed doughnuts.  Also I have noticed that I have lately become a once-a-month blogger.  I will try to do better, I promise.)

Jam Tomorrow, Jam Yesterday...

So I have discovered that I am absolutely in love with Blackberry Jam (you will note that I love it so much it must be capitalized like a name). I don't think I ever paid too much attention to Blackberry Jam before - always going for Strawberry or Grape and occasionally Orange Marmalade or Apple Butter. But when my parents were out here getting their house ready to sell my mom bought some groceries and then left them with us when they went back to VA. And one of the things my mom left me was a jar of Blackberry Jam! And I've been eating it on toast and biscuits and homemade Belgian waffles ever since - delish! (I highly recommend - it is totally better than syrup. A little butter and Blackberry Jam on top of your waffle and you are set.) In fact I even had a completely random moment that is the closest to sleep eating I've ever experienced - one night I woke up at 1:30am and I was STARVING! I'm talking stomach growling, couldn't go back to sleep hungry. And so naturally I thought, "this is weird, I must just be really thirsty" so I drank a glass of water and nothing, still starving. I kept telling myself "you are ridiculous, just go to sleep" but my stomach kept saying "go eat toast with Blackberry Jam right now!" So I did. At 1:30 in the morning I got out of bed and made myself some toast with Blackberry Jam. It made me laugh so hard at myself and I kept feeling like Liz Lemon with her night eating.

And in other fun Blackberry Jam anecdotes- my sister Laura and her family came to visit a few weeks ago and on Friday night her 3 girls Sophia, Holly and Lucy spent the night with us. So I made toast for breakfast (I was feeling lazy- don't judge - I'd done a whole big Taco Party with rainbow cupcakes the night before, even the best Aunt deserves to make toast occasionally). I asked them what they wanted on it butter or jam and what kind of jam. Sophia chose just butter, Holly chose Blackberry Jam (what a genius!), and we decided to give Lucy one with just butter and one with Blackberry Jam and see what she liked the best. Naturally Lucy licked all the jam off her toast, then ate the bread and didn't even touch her plain butter piece. So I got up to put jam on her second piece and Sophia asked if she could have jam on her second piece too. Of course you can, Sophia! And while I was jamming the toast she explained why she had asked for butter but now wanted jam, "My Daddy always buys sugar free jam in Amish country, and I don't like it at all. But I could tell by the way they were eating it that it was not sugar free!" What an astute observation - the logic of a 5 year old is nothing short of genius.

April Fools!

Since my boss Dr. Jason's birthday is today (April 1), I decided if there was ever a time to make cupcakes that look like something else it was now. I've always wanted to do this, so I was pretty excited with how well they turned out.

















Anyone care for fried chicken drumstick, mashed potatoes and gravy, and peas and carrots?

Holy Trinity?

Another random conversation that I just had to share. This one took place last night while cooking dinner.

Mike: This is almost a mirepoix, we just need celery.

Mark: My family never called it a mirepoix, we always called it the trinity.

Me: Actually I think the trinity is different than a mirepoix. The trinity has green peppers instead of carrots.

Mark: No I think they are the same. Onions, celery, carrots.

Mike: Yeah I think the one with green peppers has a different name and that mirepoix and trinity are the same.

Me: Well if it does I can't think of the other name...

Mike: So Mark if this was The Trinity who would they be?

Mark: Well I think that the Holy Ghost would be onions cause they get all see-through when you cook them.

Mike: OK well what about the other two?

Mark: I guess Jesus would be carrots, cause God is definitely celery.

(Incidentally in case you're wondering I was right - a mirepoix = onions, celery, carrots and the trinity = onions, celery, green peppers.)

Chez Crenshaw Grand Opening

Well as many of you may know I love to cook. As do many of my brothers and sisters in fact. So I decided that we needed to start a cooking blog to share recipes. (And also I love the Lee families recipe blog and therefore had to copy them. And to the Lee family all I have to say about this is that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So there.)

So if you ever want to see what the Crenshaws are cooking - come join us at Chez Crenshaw. Bon Appetite!

Thank You Easter Bunny, Bawk Bawk!

This year we followed an old Crenshaw family tradition and celebrated Easter on Saturday. When we were kids my mom used to do the Easter baskets, presents and candy on Saturday instead of Sunday. I figure this was for two reasons: 1- so that we would separate the Easter Bunny from the true celebration of Christ's atonement and resurrection, and 2- so that we weren't crazed-sugared-up fiends at church. Since we are now adults (relatively speaking) and don't have to worry too much about being crazed-sugared-up fiends at church, we had Easter on Saturday so that we could all do Easter on Sunday with the in-laws. (Also Sat was Susy's free day on her new diet, so there's that too.)

I wanted to try something different so I cooked this turkey, gravy and stuffing recipe I had seen on Food Network back at Thanksgiving that I thought looked amazing. And the turkey and gravy were delicious!! Although I did make a few changes on the gravy - I left out the Marsala, and I also decided that 7 cups of chicken stock sounded like a whole lot of gravy! So I just used 3 cups. The stuffing was really good too, but in a weird way. I didn't completely follow the recipe on that one either, cause I am anti stuffing the turkey, so I just cooked it in a casserole dish. But I will definitely make more changes next time cause it was pretty much like eating a pepperoni pizza casserole. I think I'll leave out the ground sausage and double the bread and then it will be perfect - that is if you're in the mood for pepperoni pizza stuffing.

We also made a delicious chocolate cake with chocolate ganache in the center and dark chocolate frosting on the outside. My mom used to make these bunny cakes when we were kids so we tried to do that again. But by the time we had it all cut and put together like she thought, she realized that she used to make 2 smaller cakes - so our cake was too big for a bunny and just kind of looked like a split log. But it was yummy so that's all that really matters, right? And the moral of this story is that I need to remember I have a blog and take more photos. But in the mean time (and since the cake is all eaten) you can use your imaginations to see the split log cake... Doesn't that look funny yet delicious? You see it turns out I'm doing you a favor and making you use those brains of yours. Your welcome.